My mother, who was part of this conversation with my boyfriend and I, told me, “I think a lot of people worry about their marriage when they find out that someone else is getting divorced. “It makes sense that by making assumptions about how someone else behaved badly and how that “ruined” their relationship, we seek confirmation that we are not like them and that our marriage is safe. Freedom said be sure to seek freedom. I stopped inviting him, but I still opened the door, greeted him, and offered him a place on my porch. Until one day, one day, I approached my door and stood next to the fear; I noticed freedom. Fear told me it was like a car mechanic with a car he couldn’t drive, or like a bankrupt financial investor, or like a real estate agent with his own home on the market for a year and more. So I got up, went down the hall, opened the door and was scared. She will always be there for you. “But, she said, you also have the option of focusing your attention on me. So I said, “Your family seems to be hurt, and I’m sure you both have a story that makes sense of your decisions. Over time, fear has continued to develop. Over time, I realized that fear was no longer in sight. I recently had a conversation with a friend, and she told me that one of our mutual acquaintances was “divorce in disorder. “I don’t know her very well. Freedom said, “I’m here to remind you that you always have a choice. The fear was compelling and persistent, and I let her “plant” her seeds of shame, and then spread them with my silence. Fear convinced me that it is a contradiction, that these two concepts were contradictory.